James 4:13 & 14 – “Go to now, ye that say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”
These words are all the ammunition that an advisor needs to squelch the ambitions of a go-getter. Or all a melancholic mindset needs to mournfully lift their nose and bay at the moon!
I feel unqualified for the topic I am going to expound on, and am open to correction. However, I do remember my big brother teaching me to run the combine. We had sixties technology. The northern climate and the era of farming had us first cut the grain in windrows. The combine had a draper pickup, a feeder chain, the threshing cylinder running between adjustable concaves. The threshed wheat rode over sieves that reciprocated across a fan that blew out the chaff. Somewhere in the design was an auger that brought the clean grain up to the bin. It was all too complex for a fourteen-year-old boy to understand in full. Some of you farmers would say I still don’t get it. In order to qualify as an operator, it was explained to me. I needed to be aware of the size of the windrow, of the amount of wheat the grain was producing. If the section of field had an abundance of straw, with smaller heads, I was to adjust my ground speed. Too fast would plug the combine, too slow would cause the cylinder/concave to have insufficient resistance to thresh.
With my example I want to bring in a few considerations.
As Christian businessmen/ladies, we operate in varying conditions. In some occupations the straw-wheat ratio is different than others. Perhaps the occupation you have chosen or been given is more labour-intensive than another. You will no doubt need to work longer days. God has gifted us various talents. When young, a man often chooses a lifetime occupation. If he is healthy, he will have a natural inclination toward a specific occupation.
It is parents’ responsibility to support a child’s or young man’s will or aspiration, and not to ruin it. Some fathers and mothers live out their own aspirations by urging their child or children to do what they themselves would have dreamt of doing or being. This can be the result of a shortfall in their own upbringing. Frequently we hear, “I don’t want my son or daughter to go through what my father put me through.” That all having been said, in Proverbs 22:6 we read “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This is a direct instruction. There is a stage of parental influence where we compel our children to a format of respect, and teach them to love discipline.
As your son or daughter matures, discipline needs to mature with it. We go from:
- You must drink 1 cup of milk
- You need some protein and calcium. Please drink your milk.
- If you don’t care for milk you need to substitute.
- Pay your own dental bills.
Teaching our children has a lot more to it than calcium and protein, but this is an example. First, we insist on structure; we don’t immediately concern ourselves with choice and understanding. Then we start to teach the why of it, followed by respect towards a maturing mind’s choice. Then, we turn them loose to face their own consequences.
To sum up this morning’s contribution. Life is complex. However, we can easily overcomplicate it, to a point where it throws us in neutral, and even become frozen in fear. Your children will turn out in spite of the shortfall of your own performance. Your children are not your “financial asset”. They are a gift of God. They are indeed God’s. Your gifted son is not who he is because of his gifted father.
There are many examples where parents have one child that excels in sports and another that is a dismal failure in sports. There are instances where sets of twins, or even any two people born from the same parents, are polar opposites. Possibly this is more common than not. A father I know mourned because a few of his children chose a different spiritual path than he, the father, wished. As well, several of his children were pillars in the father’s faith. As he mourned about his failure, he was asked if he then would also take the credit for the “pillars”.
We will always see things we could have done differently.
We are, however, given a will. We are asked to make a choice. Our influence on our children is essential. An important aspect is that our children need to witness that we think of them as God’s.
My son was nearing school age. He was, and still is, a contemplative person. He thinks through problems. He doesn’t change tack quickly like his father. He is steady like his mother. An anchor. He preferred his trike over the bike. Training wheels on the bike seemed sensible to him. His buddies were racing around on two wheels. One day I told him he needed to ride without training wheels. He refused to take the risk. I became frustrated. “Toby! Get on your bike and RIDE it!” He refused. “Toby. Daddy said ‘Ride the bike!’ Do you want a spanking?!?” Tears pouring down his face he mounted the bike and rode across the yard. He still rides a bike.
Readers…I doubt I was right in my approach. Sometimes the outcome is okay in spite of our own failures.
A boss I once had told me:
- I can live with an employee who does something right.
- I can live with an employee that does something wrong.
- I can NOT live with an employee that does nothing.
Have a good day.
