Recently, I wrote regarding the Serenity Prayer. As a recovering alcoholic, the prayer for serenity, “to accept the things I cannot change” is often repeated. In numerous 12-step groups, it becomes a staple prayer. A prayer we repeat as a group. I like the prayer very much.
Today, I am focused on what I would call a more “hard core” submission.
Let’s draw a parallel using habit. I was once a slave to tobacco use. My early childhood impressions were formed at the tail end of the era of billboards and ad campaigns glamorizing tobacco use. Pretty girls and macho men were associated with tobacco use. A common ad showed a picture of a muscular young man with the tagline, “I’d rather fight than switch.” The facial expressions of the youth pictured in the ads were smiling. But in a defiant way. These were the strong. Someone who didn’t smoke was a lesser person.
Life dealt its challenges. I became disoriented. The young man that I was met obstacles.
During my journey away from God, at different crossroads I was motivated by an awareness of my shortfall. I was aware of my shortcomings in what I viewed as successful servitude to Christ. I resisted fallibility. I craved success. My standard for myself and personal expectations were very high. I had not yet come to terms with submission. Yes, of course I had submitted to Christ when I gave him my heart as a young person! I had heard the sermons. I had given in. I had said “no” to things that I needed to say “no” to.
There is something in all humanity that is part of our inner makeup. Temperament, core values, conscience, early childhood trauma, early impressions; the list may include many more. This inner compulsion fuels the engines that determine direction.
When a course of direction becomes familiar it becomes the default setting. If we are wired hot, and we have been allowed to have temper outbursts without teaching on why these outbursts are not good, we will default to temper meltdowns.
We may have been nagged to not lose our temper in our formative years by a parent who also loses control of their temper. We may have been struck or injured emotionally or physically by a parent who justifies their anger in the name of good parenthood and even servitude to God. Because of these situations, we will see anger as a privilege of authority.
In craving authority, we will resort to anger in our attempt to become mature. When we realize we can intimidate others we begin to enjoy the feeling of power. We are on the course to become a bully. If this momentum is not checked, we are the perfect candidate to become a prime suspect. We have opened, as it were, a whole new can of worms.
This brings me back to my thoughts about submission.
Think of the Serenity Prayer as a decision one makes to avoid big issues. Preventative maintenance. Awareness of the need for preventative maintenance and the willingness to carry it out.
Using my tobacco issue as an example, initially I had no desire to become a smoker. I associated the cigarettes in my pocket as a sign to those around me that I had made a choice to no longer be a goody-goody Mennonite boy. It was an expression of defiance. For an extended period of time, I would forget I had them. I was what “cool” people referred to as a social smoker. An addicted friend asked me why I bothered. I learned to enjoy my superiority. My friend had to smoke; he was weak. I smoked only when I chose to. I was strong. This went on until one day I was a slave to the stuff.
When I had my heart attack, the cardiologist team informed me that the reason for my blocked arteries was the years of tobacco use. I replied, “But I didn’t smoke nearly all my life. I quit for extended periods of time. I fought the demon.” The “heart team” wasn’t impressed. The verdict remained.
My challenge for thought today is this:
Sometimes submission is a “daily maintenance program”. However, if something is broken, we need to realize that serenity will not cut it. To cut it will require surgery. Surgery takes special equipment in the hands of specially-trained individuals. There was a time when “changing the things I can” would have stopped my cigarette usage. When I was brought by ambulance to Foothills Hospital, serenity didn’t cut it. I suppose even then I could have refused stent replacement. I could have refused to call the ambulance. I was all alone in my pickup; I could have succumbed to the heart attack. I suppose I could have allowed my life to end.
Submission and determination are two different angles. It is difficult to know which one leads and which one follows. Quite likely, they take turns in leading humanity. Surface submission may be the course of least resistance. It may well be the popular vote. Determination to avoid an undesirable outcome often propels submission.
A northbound vehicle meanders over the center line on a two-lane highway. An approaching southbound vehicle notices the action. He surrenders his right of way to avoid collision. As the two vehicles meet, the southbound driver lays on the horn and makes hand signals to express his displeasure. Did he submit? Not really. But he was determined to not be in a collision.
This explains the difference between determination and submission. Had the southbound driver taken the shoulder of the road without the horn and hand signals, we could conclude that he had accepted his part of being a defensive driver.
Big Difference.
Submission is not weak. It is not old-fashioned. It is indeed the key to overcoming.
When we look to the Author of submission, Jesus, we will recognize that he too found it hard to submit in the Garden of Gethsemane. Luke 22:42 says, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” We can submit to very unfair circumstances. We can feel the joy of getting rid of our ego.
You may ask, “Are you implying submitting to wrong? To not stand up for what’s right?”
No. Submitting of one’s heart is quite different from outwardly submitting to wrong. In fact, some secular definitions of the word “submitting” leads me to question their accuracy.
Oxford languages describes the noun.
- The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or the will or authority of another person. “They were forced into submission.”
Merriam-Webster
- The condition of being submissive, humble or compliant.
- An act of submitting to the authority or control of another.
I question being forced to submit. More accurately, one can be forced to surrender. This is an outward action. Submission is an inward action. It involves a person’s will. We read of people who have outwardly submitted (surrendered) but inwardly they are ready to take the first break they see.
My intent is not to challenge definitions. It is however, to explain to the reader that I am attempting to portray a spiritual submission. Not a religious submission. Our spirit (spiritual) is just that; our inward man. Submission that happens in the inward man is a power that is connected to the core of our Christian belief.
It is not a forever gift. It is a gift that needs work. It is like a plant that needs sunshine, nutrients and rain. It grows and prospers or it withers and dies.
When we lose the gift of submission, we lose the vibrancy of an effective life and a hope of a joyful eternity.
